As I wrote in the previous article, about my first time in Thailand in 2011, my partner at the time, Beppe, had been offered a great job opportunity in Pattaya. We were both very happy about it. Me, perhaps, even more than him: from the very beginning, I had imagined that once his work situation had settled down, I would join him and we would continue our life together in Thailand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Things, however, didn\u2019t go the way I had imagined.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes I think certain things simply have to happen the way they do. That if my life had taken a different path, I probably wouldn\u2019t be the person I am today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What I know for sure is that I wasn\u2019t, and still am not, made for a long-distance relationship. And, to be honest, I wonder if anyone really is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Fifteen hours of travel, a five- or six-hour time difference, lives that were suddenly unfolding on two different continents: it was a difficult combination even for a relationship that had lasted more than thirteen years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even today, I can say that for eleven and a half years, growing up alongside Beppe was a joy. It was also thanks to him that I discovered Muay Thai and Satori.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The last few years, however, were different. After living practically in each other\u2019s pockets, growing up together, sharing the same friends, the same places, and our entire daily life, that distance slowly began to wear us down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I can only speak for myself: I was completely lost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For years, Beppe had been my point of reference, my best friend, the person I had built practically my entire adult life with. When I suddenly found myself alone, I realized I no longer really knew who I was without him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Where did Miriam, Beppe\u2019s partner, end, and where did simply Miriam begin?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n After so many years spent sharing thoughts, habits, friends, and pieces of our lives, I had almost stopped being able to tell the two apart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I had just finished university, which I had started later than most people, and I still hadn\u2019t found a real professional direction. Despite having a degree in Sports Science, the best job I had managed to find was as a gymnastics instructor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The plan had become to join Beppe in Thailand once his work situation was stable enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But that stability never came.<\/p>\n\n\n\n During the periods when I went to visit him in Pattaya, I also tried to see if there might be any possibility of finding work there. At the time, though, I had little experience to put on my CV, my English was far from perfect, and finding a regular job in Thailand as a foreigner wasn\u2019t easy. The frustration kept growing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Between 2011 and 2013, I returned to Thailand several times: during the winter holidays, in the summer of 2012, and again the following winter. I would stay for a few months, then return to Italy. Beppe had only managed to come home for a few weeks over those two<\/strong> years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In May 2013, he returned to Italy again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I still remember how strange he seemed that evening when he came to pick me up from the gymnastics gym, just after getting back from his trip. I thought he was just tired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We had dinner at his mother\u2019s house and then headed to mine, where at least we had a double bed. On the road between Romans d\u2019Isonzo and Villesse, I finally had to ask him what was wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That was when he told me:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI came back to Italy for my brother\u2019s wedding and to leave you.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Boom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The blow hit me full force. Straight to the heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Things between us hadn\u2019t been going well for a while, but I was convinced it was because of the distance. When we were together, in my mind, we were still us. Apart, everything was different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I cried often, especially after our Skype calls. And even during those calls, by then I was almost always sad. Instead of the cheerful girl he had grown up with and built a life with, Beppe now found himself looking at a completely different person on the screen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I had fallen into a spiral of sadness and longing that I could no longer escape. I was constantly thinking about how to join him, and living my days without him had become painful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It really hurt.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Meanwhile, I kept training at Satori, but even my Muay Thai was affected by what I was going through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I remember a fight in Umbria. As I was walking toward the ring, Alfio, who was with me for that trip, simply put a hand on my shoulder. A small gesture. An \u201cI\u2019m here with you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/jikokaizenmuaythai.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/DSCF5469-1024x768.jpg\")
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